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Dating Red Flags: If He Seems Too Perfect, He Probably Is #atwys. Article Roundup! Gather round, chickens! Yesterday, this went up on The Frisky. Here’s an excerpt. Dinner was delicious and the night was going well, so I wasn’t at all surprised when he asked if I wanted to watch a movie, which is usually code for Let’s Take Our Clothes Off. I was prepared for something physical to happen, and quite frankly, I wanted it to happen.
The true test would be whether or not he seemed respectful of the fact that I wasn’t willing to sleep with him just yet, and whether or not he would want to keep seeing me after that. I wanted to make sure Scar Twin was as interested in commitment as he says, and wasn’t just looking for easy sex. So, like clockwork, halfway into the shitty movie, things started heating up on the couch and we headed into the bedroom. For starters, I would like to say that Scar Twin is hella generous.
I’m talking very, VERY giving and communicative, which I love. He went above and beyond the call of duty, which was a luxury I’ve missed. As expected, at some point during our hookup sesh, sex was on the table and I told him that I wanted to wait. He completely understood and didn’t let that hold him back from making sure I was happy.
When he was done, I returned the favor because I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to. We have great sexual chemistry, which is always a relief when you’re testing the waters with someone new. Afterward, we hung out naked in his bed for a while and talked like we we’d done it 3. And then he muttered this: “I’m not sure if I should tell you this,” he said, looking at me and smirking, “but.
Does he have a girlfriend? Does he have herpes? So many thoughts were going through my head, and not one of them was comforting.“But WHAT?!” I barked.“But that was probably the fastest anybody has ever made me come,” he said laughing. You just keep getting better and better.”First: My new favorite GIFWe will first address her admission that she was going to fool around with him but not have sex with him as a test. We’ve talked about this: most guys don’t see the difference between oral sex and intercourse. At best you’ll achieve the goal of making the guy think you’re immature by pulling this.
Don’t confuse the fact that a guy doesn’t kick you out of bed for not putting out with him “completely understanding” why you’ll blow him but not sleep with him. The whole reason he made dinner for her was to get laid. I assure you, he was a teensy bit disappointed and annoyed. Guys know what this stall tactic is. They’re not stupid. The younger ones put up with it, especially the ones that have to. The older ones have zero time for that nonsense.
But that wasn’t the true take away for me in the post. Dater X is looking for red flags. I’m going to be servicey and point them out. Here we go: 1. The “let me make you dinner on our third date” red flag – This isn’t so much a red flag as it is a tired ploy.
It’s a way to get sex, and most people know that. For some reason, many women look at that gesture and assume, “Oh, he REALLY likes me because he’s cooking for me and inviting me to his apartment.” This schtick is as old as fire. Birmingham Dating Websites more.
He’s trying too hard to impress her. Their dates feel scripted or planned – If you’ve been following along, everything about their dates is. Two great initial dates, flirty banter, and then the third date at his apartment. To me, their dates all seem to follow a pre- meditated pattern. Nothing feels organic.
The “Nobody has ever made me come that fast!” red flag – Any guy who says something like this and then follows it with, “I’m genuinely impressed” is a douche. I’m not even sure this line is real or if the author was just trying to be sly about humblegragging about what great head she gives. Either way, that whole exchange felt weird to me.
Personally, I think he just ejaculated too quickly – and often does – and was embarrassed about it. But that’s just me. Side eye to just how generous he was in bed. If I were someone who had performance issues, I’d be making sure I made up for that, too. Or she’s just had really bad lovers in the past and so he seems awesome by comparison.
She’s been down this exact same road before – As I told her a few weeks earlier when she wrote a post defending herself and her choices thus far, the problem isn’t that people don’t like her. I’m sure she’s very nice. The reason why so many people are skeptical of her stories is that she hasn’t displayed the best judgement up to this point. This has happened to her before, and every time the bottom falls out after 2 dates or 2 months. Your picker doesn’t magically become more attune. That takes work and focus.
If you have a string of disappointments the way she has, a little introspection is necessary. She also gets ridiculously invested in guys very quickly.
These behaviors are all problematic. Sometimes we’re the red flag. The fact that he took down his profile after their fourth date – This is the biggest red flag of all, and of course I got all the side- eye for suggesting it in the comments. If this guy is so perfect and so available and so great in bed, how does he not have women banging down his door to commit to him? If he did, he would not be giving that up so quickly. Sorry, all you fairy tale lovers, but this simply doesn’t happen.
We want to believe that someone could be this ideal and this interested in us and this prepared to commit this quickly, but the reality is that most times it just doesn’t happen that way. He could have just taken it down because he’s focusing on her and doesn’t want to date anyone else WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS COMMITTING. My opinion is that there’s something is either critically wrong with this guy that has gotten him kicked to the curb or he is in some kind of rush to settle down and whomever comes along will do until they don’t. Thoughts? Psst! Like our new Facebook page, please? One on One Dating Profile Review. Get a 4. 5 minute one on one review of your profile with me.
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